Day 2 – money or not?
Its 2 am and I am still awake. I know for my internet audience, this is no big deal. But it is for me. For a long time I took pride in calling myself a “6 am” morning person. Today, I am just an 8 am (still early for many) jobless douchebag. 2 is late. Its after 2 that sleep is hard to come by.
I was doing an internship at this place called cineplay. They basically work on theatres being projected as films. You can’t really call it a different genre, but its more like an interlink. Something a Television audience might actually like and be interested in theatre content eventually. Anyway – the point is I was editing for them. When I joined, I did not actually propose myself as an intern. It was a small company and needed human resource and I was there – to help and to learn.
And I did. Just that I did not complete a month. I worked on two projects and moved out. I could not feel motivated. I would constantly think if it was the right thing to do – maybe I should have sticked around and see what I can do for myself there. But I wanted to move on, mostly because the excitement had died. Later, they messaged me saying that I shouldn’t do that and actually go back. They say – after a documentary they want me to deliver – I can perhaps join.
Maybe they are right. Am not really doing anything productive anyway. But I must explain them that it was never about the money. It was about respecting my work. But perhaps that phase will come later. “Respecting my work”. Do I actually think am that good. Because if I do, then perhaps I am not.
Or will I feel stuck if stay?
Why is work so hard? I thought money was supposed to take you in a good direction. Its all lopsided in this field.