Kasturba muses on earphones

by shalinijena

She stood beside the window in her room. It was a winter night and there was nobody around, except – him. Ofcourse.

She turned to have a good filmy look at him – with his hands above his head, the hands that held her whole night. She just watched him, from that distance and wondered what she would do without him. In that moment, near the window, some 3 feet away, even his breathing made her shiver. All she wanted was to close the gap between them and she would, maybe for forever.

“Will you stop staring and come a little closer please. Your lover’s cold.”

He simpered in his “sleep” and opened his eyes, watching her watching him, spread his right arm – making room for her.. She walked towards the bed, slipped into the blanket, cosily tucked herself inside and turned away from him. They lay still, without touching for a few minutes. Both of them, staring into nothing. And then the blankets ruffled behind her as his hands scooped her neck, his arms all over her shoulder from behind and pulled her close to his chest. He kissed her hair and said that he loved her. And they slept…

Sometimes in a moment you live your entire life. Years pass by but that moment stays. It makes you smile, it makes you shed a few tears..  Relationships are like earphones, Kasturba thought to herself. They are so amazing at first that you don’t ‘ever-ever wanna take them off. You wonder if life could be any better. And then you use it so much that you don’t realize yourself getting addicted to it. You use them even when you don’t really want to and then one fine day out of nowhere they start to crack up.

You get depressed and desperately, you try your best to fix it. At first nothing helps and you become miserable but then you manage to – get it right. And all is well, until some external effect cracks it up again. You avoid every potential force that affected your earphone and for some more time you manage to increase its longevity. After a while, it never stops cracking up but you still listen to it – no matter what. And then one day, it collapses so bad in your ear that you pull it out in a jiffy and throw it aside wondering what a moron you had been all this time. Just get rid of it. And you do.

Relationships are so – like earphones.

But.. don’t you miss it? Your favourite earphone? She asked herself.. You don’t want it back ofcourse, but wouldn’t you do anything to have one more day of that happiness. No? She thought so..

Kasturba didn’t know if she was happy. She was glad wherever she was. She was glad to live a life she wanted to live. She was glad that she was much more stubborn than before, much more focused than before, much more into life than in dreams – than before. Its funny how that happened – but it did. And she wanted to believe that she was happy. Really happy.. Or perhaps – there is no such thing called happiness.