Sometimes its a Blue Valentine

by shalinijena

I watched Blue Valentine. I stared at the screen after it was over. I watched it fade out, the beats of the music going along with it. I took a bath, I had not had any that day. And I stood under the shower for God knows how many minutes. Still. Thinking.. 

What do I say. Films have the unusual power of affecting our minds. They understand us more than our friends. They talk to us, sometimes they hurt, sometimes they console, but most times – they just talk. Even their incessant blabber makes sense. Blue Valentine is one of the best contemporary realism of any relationship; the best one will be – The revolutionary road for me.

Sometimes we don’t know what we want. We see someone is “good” for us and we think ‘Yea. This is what we want.’ Sometimes we know we might not be enough for them and we still don’t stop because we fall in love. Sometimes we tell them, ‘Hey you know what, I don’t think I am good enough for you.’ And they stop you mid-way, kiss you lightly and with an innocent expression on their faces ask you not say such things again..’Its hurting me’. That’s what they say and you, like a moron believe that shit. That’s how they lie. And yes, they know that. But still they say it. I have and I know that you have too.

Dean and Cindy’s love story was immature from the very beginning. Some people might think they were madly in love with each other. But were they? Dean was crazy about her and so he knew she was “The one”. But when Cindy met Dean she had just broken out of another relationship with a guy named Bobby. No, I don’t think Dean was a rebound. But he was sweet, charming, extremely loving – everything a girl dreams of. Since he isn’t boring there is no chance of not having excitement in life, maybe that’s what she thought. Moreover, when she gets pregnant with her ex and repels from abortion, he still accepts her – with love – the kind of love that knew no bounds. She had seen enough in life – men, jerks, men, jerks – Dean was too perfect. So, she married him.

But did she love him? Yes. She did. Did she love him enough?

At the end she says she can do it no more. He wants her back, he wants to change, do anything for her and if that means leaving, he is even ready to do that. Cindy is sorry. She is very sorry. She knows she should go back to him, she should love him – but she can’t. How can she, when there is no love left.

What kind of love is that? When there is nothing left. Did Cindy do the right thing? Was she selfish when she asked him to leave? What about their daughter? Why was she not ready to give him another chance?

Because.. She can’t. She had to make it all stop and did you notice that it was right after she met Bobby? No. I don’t think that means she is love with her ex. I think this is more like when she met Bobby, he did make her ‘feel’ something. She might have even wanted to meet him again or not, she doesn’t know. But there was no indifference in that meeting. She was fully aware of his presence and he had an effect on her. One the other hand she felt she had lost everything that she had with Dean, she could not even bear to look at him, talk to him – she tried, but it was impossible.

God. I am being so biased. I am not talking about poor Dean at all. He loves her so much but he thinks that is all we need to be happy. Maybe he needed to be a little more mature there. She wanted him to work, to do something better in life. And when she tries to make him understand, it hurts his ego. He probably lives in a fantasy world where he is doing something he wants to – have a normal job, come back home, love his kids and wife and be loved. But life doesn’t work like that. There always has to be something more to everything.

I loved the film. I know I say that a lot and I will continue to because I only watch the best rated films and that too after recommending IMDB, Wikipedia and few more blogs. I am a sucker for good films. Blue Valentine is a food for thought for any person who has messed ideas about love. I am the perfect audience for cinema like these.

This is not a review. But to read a good one, you can click here.