FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE HYDERABAD “HYDERABAD!”
Everyone knows about Biryani and The Haleem
This is like the basic research that you MUST do before stepping into the Hyderabadi zone. If you don’t like biryani, then get used to the expression that says “huh!”. Believe me, I don’t know a single hyderabadi who is not a foodie and again, not one of them who doesn’t like The Biryani and The Haleem. If you talk about coldplay’s paradise or the heaven’s paradise, then don’t get surprised if someone tells this – “Haha! Shit. I thought you were talking about “our” paradise.” You listen so much about this heaven (a hotel) of their’s that you wonder what is so special about it and obviously, you will want to eat “the” Biryani too. Moreover, if its the Ramzan month, then even a stranger will recommend you to try haleem. And when you try it, again I won’t again be surprised if you ask ‘What is so great about it?’. And remember this – please avoid asking another Hyderabadi that!
Do I need to mention the four pillars?
When I first came to the city, I wondered what is so hyped about a monument, even now I don’t know. There are so many all over the world. It is just another bustling – sorry – correction here – it is just another “over-bustling” part of the city which is not rude to big vehicles and whose smell won’t make you crease your nose. It is just another part of the city, which is a photographer’s paradise, any shopper’s destination, no matter how posh they are and a ground making a living for the most down-to-earth and friendly people of the country. Even the beggars smile at you, they might curse a little if you ignore them, but even that looks sweet and yes, they won’t let you ignore them. One of you will end up abusing.
It is doubtful if Hyderabadis know about the world famous “Veiled Rebecca statue” here, but it is an impossibility that they haven’t tried Haleem at the Old city!
‘So.. What do you think about the Telangana issue?’
How long have you been in Hyderabad? You tell me, is it possible that you haven’t come across this question. No. I know. There is no other city in the world which can make anything as popular as Hyderabad has made Telangana. From the first day I stepped into college, people would keep bringing up this name every now and then. Finally one day, in a casual conversation I asked, ‘Hey. By the way, what exactly is this Telangana?’. No one said anything. They just stared. And then my Vidhya started laughing and said,’I was waiting for you to get screwed!’
We all know what Telangana is and we all support it. Why? Because we would have never had the best outings of our college days if not for their untimely bandhs. They don’t care about exams, these bunch of pink clad people. They will get inside the college and screw the management for us. It is most times a little difficult to make a sad expression when a riot brews up somewhere in the city. “Its holiday, why?” “Telangana””Ofcourse.”
Try riding here!
How can I talk about this city and not mention the two wheelers and the traffic. After a year of being in hyderabad, I could have easily told I was an excellent driver and now after three years, I say that I can ride in any damn city in the world! Yes baby, this is hyderabad. No one cares how fast you ride as long as you are the fastest and here, fastest doesn’t mean speed, it means making all the traffic rules go to dogs and ride the hyderabadi way (did that just sound that something else or am I the only perv here?)! They will overtake you from the left, honk as loud as possible, use the narrowest steepest or ugliest path if its shorter and no – they will never wear a helmet but cover their faces and that too with just one cloth till it tears to pieces after years of torture.
Are you a hyderabadi who doesn’t find this funny or a Northener who can completely relate to me! Hyderabadi Hindi is an epic. A story in itself. Here is one south Indian city where you don’t have to worry about language. They all know what you are telling, you might have a difficulty understanding them though and when you do, I say ‘Welcome to Hyderabad!’. They all speak hindi. They call that “Urdu wala hindi” and I will call that really bad hindi! No matter how much they scored till their 10th grades in this subject, this is something which is inborn, inbuilt and inbred – speaking the worst and the funniest hindi possible. No, they don’t have a southern accent. They are exclusively hyderabadi’s who say nako, kartu, aari, dekhra and hao (for yes)! Have a look at this, for a detailed IDEA! Lol. I love you hyderabad!