Forgetting regrets..

by shalinijena

Sometimes, you are just running on your daily routine, and incidentally you see something, which you might have crossed innumerable times, but this one time – it catches your eye and leaves you wondering – where am I?

I was sitting in the pillion of my friend’s bike today, when I saw some children playing on the streets. One of them was yelling at her yelling mom that she would be back in 5 minutes. I smiled at her and gave her a wink which she certainly neither understood nor responded :p. I whispered into my friend’s ear from behind – you know what? I miss that life I had. And since then I couldn’t stop thinking. Life is weird.

Life is like a book. Each page with the continuation of the last one or with an interesting twist, a never ending quest and a beautiful yet painful yet fair yet vague truth. Life. Phew. As small the word, larger than my imagination is its meaning.

I am having one of those days when I could just sit back with earphones plugged into my ears for hours and say that I miss my childhood. When I was a little girl and cried for most sappiest reasons complaining I wish I was as tall and matured as them (!), they just laughed while simultaneously trying to soothe me that – You are gonna miss these days honey... I always knew they weren’t bluffing. And I do not regret that I did not do anything to make things right, because those again made another memory.

Few days back one of my neighbours was praising me and my fellow mates who too were from an army background that no one can be as smart and candid as us. I do not really agree with that, but that again is an entirely different topic. Well, so, he was like trying to explain me that there was nothing to regret in life. I never said there was. But I said something which made him go this philosophical.

I had spent my childhood, after 3rd grade till my 12th in Bhubaneswar. There is no other place which can be more civil (not army backdrop I mean) than this city of temples. And somewhere in the hours of discussion, I think I mentioned that I wish I had spent more time with Dad in the cantonment in the other big cities. I guess I complained that I could have seen more of the awesome life I used to have (before 3rd grade) and that I have now (I live in Secunderabad cant. you see 😉 )

And so, now I realize, when I saw those little kids playing badminton, ball, steps and the rest whose names I can’t recall :p, that he was right. I have nothing to regret. May be growing up would be something I might rue about now, but again after another decade, I might look back and say, I wish I could have my teenage back. When I was a little girl, I wished I could talk as intelligently as ‘adults’, I wished people wouldn’t look at me alone on the road and say ‘Hey sweets! Where is your MOM!’. And now, when I look so sceptically at people who think they are sharp, I wonder if I was better off as a child. But then I laugh at that thought again. And I note them down before I forget-  that there is nothing to regret 🙂