Romantically confused me..

by shalinijena

A girl is the strangest creation of God. She is a loving daughter, an everlasting friend and a sweet, naughty, crazy and madly in love lover. Books have made me have different notions on love. Some tell me it is dangerous, some ask me not to give away it too easily because the one made for me will find my lane someday and sweep me in his arms. Some ask me to wait and some say that love is not the food for life. All true. But why do I have to listen to them?

Generally a girl fantasises herself to be different from the lot. There is this guy, who has been with plenty women, but he finds something fascinatingly captivating about this girl and soon, he is madly in love with her. I just love romance novels like these. They are passionate, sweet and seductive. So, even I do imagine a cute guy, who I do not recognize at first to be the love of my life, and then it happens! Seriously, not a girl, who is a romance freak would love the idea of arrange marriage you see. I mean come on, life cannot be so short.

This is actually the thought that drew me into writing this post.

Sometimes I am just so scared that my life will be pocket size. Both small and confined.. Girls want to fall in love at my age and guys want girls anyways. I had never given the concept of so called ‘true love’ a thought until now. True love is love. Is there something called fake-love? I have never experienced it and hope that I never will.

I want to fall in love. Have the ‘then’ best moments of my life. Feel myself going mad. And then be confused if I really want this or not. Entangled into a mesh of confounding thoughts, I want to let my lover know that I will love him all my life, but that doesn’t make us ‘one’. He knows that too and we become friends. Lovely days come again. And with it, tension, stress, misunderstanding, understanding and a resolution without a filmy climax. I fall in love again or not for a while. There is no pivoted fantasy and I do not say that I am going to wait for the man of my dreams for another lifetime if needed. In fact I do not think of marriage at all. I just dream of living in a dream when he finds me or I find him. Or we don’t find each other, but someone else does and we never know that for a long time. It doesn’t matter how long, as long as its not too late..

I am there amongst everyone, I am not different, I am not special. But you find me somewhere amidst the crowd of lot. Because I am not the only one in the fall, I am just the one for you- one of all.

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