WHO MUST ‘NOT’ JUDGE?
(An article on teenage and adult problems. The fight where who is right and who ‘wrong’)
Sneha was going to meet him at 8pm. He was her first love and first ever date! Excited and butterflies batting in her stomach, she pulled in her favourite dress and took off to her ‘so-called’ friend’s place. He was waiting for her and she felt safe. Since school she was infactuated to him and when he got word about this, he asked her out. Happy and flattered, she made her friends jealous and was now making up her mind to brag how cool it is, to be out with the most handsome and rich guy in the locality. Blame not the 15 yr old kid, but who do I blame when he took her to a place in the name of solitude, where his friends eagerly waiting for the fun, gangraped and dumped her across the streets?
Undergound teenage love affairs is not really a taboo in the present day Indian culture and neither is alcoholism, drug abuse nor premarital sex. But when these consequences end up in nightmares, severe depression and suicidal attempts, then who do we charge?
The girl? Who got hooked up with two sweet words Or the guy, who is so intoxicated by the idea of sex, alcohol and so-called ‘cool’ friends? Ok, lets grab the root. Parents?? who never talked to their children about the body-needs taking control over the rational mind?
Now, this could have saved the girl from walking straight into the guy’s arms without a second thought and the boy, a lifelong court case and a black inked crime record.
Teens need their own space and this is what their age and time demands. It is easier for them to look up and understand what their parents cannot accept. No doubt that girls have to be careful and guys saner, but first our folks have to be smarter. Most of the adults reading this would still think that modernity is yet another name to degrading culture and values. When their parents married at the age of 15 and ‘made’ family at 19, it was fair and when their children end up with pre marital sex, they are demeaned for not signing a piece of paper. Come on! They need to cater better, practical reasons to not getting their child into trouble, because we are foolishly smart and only listen to things that make sense to ‘us’.
Three decades back teenagers were no different. They too were involved in drugs, alcohol and sex. It wasn’t a hype then, because they stayed undercover and respected their culture. Now, this culture doesn’t deal with good or bad habits. It holds in behaviour, ideals and respect towards our elders, which is what we lack. When our elders, not excluding parents, try to reason us about something we tend to think we are smarter and dismiss their views.
So, is there a solution to this? Ofcourse there is and its as simple as it sounds.
Understand each other.
To the parents. Your children do not only eat, drink, study and sleep. They go out and meet people who you want them to stay away from. So, talk to them and let them know the difference between right and wrong. Questioning their thoughts won’t help.
To the children, your parents and elders are not just taller than you in height. They have this factor called ‘experience’ and know more than you do. So, behave well with them and do not bug. And yes 😉 listen, before you judge..